peach

muaahhax.
i tink i habin peach flower luck

=X mayb i tink too much
but..i can still feel the loneliness in me
well..i jus blog to hao lian =p
hahhax..till todae my frenster
got 643 peopl view before hor
hahaha..i bo liao lahx. cyas~

=/

feelin a lil depressed rite now
isit becuz he's not online?
hahhas..lame me..
i still tend to look out for him
see his frenster and stuff
veri baichi rite?
i'm gonna quit doin all these stuff le
den slowlie delete his fotos in ma com?
(mayb leave 1 or 2 =x)
den will be smses in my phone
bu she de neh >.<

hmm. he seems like he has recover le bah

i can do my healing too le =)

i'm oredi tryin veri hard not to express my sadness thru my face le

and not to tink so much

i'll continue workin hard on tt bah =/

*whisper* he's so cute >.<~

*BOX MYSELF* zzz


todae went to queenswae wif merry and qian
dey wan buy sport shoe
i jus wanna kip myself occupy =<

thx guys

u all can dun buy de bah

can dun so later go home de bah >.<

hais~ hear depress song. get more depressed

i kip tellin myself single can flirt around lei

but wo rather bu yao >.<
ROARS. huiping dun so weak lei!!
"orh. = "
die liao. i kip tokin to myself le

tlll the end

hmm..recentli kip myself soo occupied
tts my way of healing =x
watched S Diary
hmm. actuali like nuthin much
tokin abt a ger. shi lian 3 times.
veri ke lian neh >.<

she sumhow revenge all the guys lor

wan leng ask me watch

sae watch le will xiang tong

hahahahx..but i dun feel aniting leiisx.

ytd went swimming!

hahah i feel so guilty lor

recentli i kip eating!!~

and is reali alot!!

i mus becum mei mei!~

den can seduce guys. *evil grins*

hmmz. my purpose of tis entry is actuali to recommend a song

Dou Yu de OST lor an english song *- Till The End -*

anione interested can look for me in msn

i can sent ~ *wink

hear le will wan cry de lei.serious.

and yang chen ling's new album has a few not bad song.

i recommend *- Ai Mei -* oso quite sad de bahx


Till The End


All these precious moments
With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven
That's holding me all night
I don't know how I found you
I'm thankful that I have
Now that I have a love so true
To hold, to keep, to share


*In my heart I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I'll always be with you until the very end
In this world there in no place I'd rather be
You are my life, my soul, my girl
You through it all
I know That you've come to see
that you're the one till the end


All my friends around me
Say you'd be gone too soon
Baby I'm gonna make them see
We've found our way back home (Repeat*)


We'll always be till the end



暧昧—— 杨丞琳


暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进 何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气


只能陪你到这里
已经有些事不可以
找过了勇气 还不懂爱情
远方就要下雨的风景
到底该不该哭泣 想太多
是我还是你 我很不服气
也开始怀疑
眼前的人是不是同一个真实的你


暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进 何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气
暧昧让人变的贪心
直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你 写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽 停在这里


暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进 何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气
暧昧让人变的贪心
直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你 写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽 停在这里

*if cant view. click view on the top, encoding, den unicode (UTF-8). jiu ke yi le. enjoy =Pp

look ahead

hmmz.i feel slightly better le bahx..
jus now saw meiqian's blog
she sae she feel dat she zhang da le
so i tink i oso shud zhang da le lor
since i've done wad i tink i shud
(and others tink i shudnt)
but its still of no use
den i shud look ahead le rite?
a veri common and old sentence
if he's meant to be urs
we'll be together no matter wad lor
not meant to be
how to force oso no use
kip broadin over it wun help correct?
hahahas..but the hurt inside me still din go awae
cant blame me lei >.<

tis is human's nature

da jia gib me more time

i tink when all those cuts on ma hand heal i'll recover too

isit too long? LOL

i feel such a hypocrite

cuz frankly when i tok to others in msn

i feel tt i'm actin hapie and tryin to feel as if i'm 100% alrite le lor

mayb i dun wan so mani people worie me bah

act like i hen wei da hor?

hahaha i can joke !! =x

haisx. the cheerful zhu zhu will cum back one dae

shi lian. its not the first time i've been thru tis

las time oso can pull through le why not tis time rite?

my heart still got abit dun wann let go i mus gib it counsellin!! hahasx.

*panda. if u're readin tis. pls recover too hao mah? =D no recover how to jio chio bu out dere leiisx? how to protect all ur mei mei neh? correct? dun alwaes wanna die lei.mayb ur next relationship is a great one! my fren told me "tis door closes, dere's another door opens sumwhere" sumtin like dat lahx. if we neber part. how u meet better ones rite? tink tings on the bright side bahx. despite my sadness i still an wei u. not bad bah? =x hahahx. consider kipin me as fren bah. i'm veri frenli de *wink* arbo u'll regret de? kekek..since when my skin got so thick. hao lah. a paragraph jus for u ok. feel honoured! take care!

break down

i finalie break down
perhaps its cuz i noe its oredi 100% impossible
hahah. silly me. ask for a patch
why mus i demoralise myself tis way?
i'm so worthless
why till the end. i still mus do stupid tings?
tears cant even que up
dey're gushin out like nobodie's business
hahahahahhaahhahaahhaahhahaha
i guess for the pass 2 daes
i gave myself too much hope
tts why i dun feel tt sad
now its jus the beginning.
it feels like my heart are torn into pieces
i'm cryin so hard tt i cant believe tis is myself
i wanna cor xinyi. i wanna find sumone
but i'm drag too mani people
till me find myself so irritating
its my prob
cant i jus hide in a corner and die myself
why mus i affect other people's mood?
how i hope i've got the courage to jump down
i've alwaes find myself so cheerful
i've alwaes tot i can cope wif everitin
why isit tt i becum like dis now?
i hate tis side of me
after toleratin so long
i finalie let it out
its too hurtin. far too hurtin
why can sumone be hurt till like dis?
i cant breathe

FCUK

TIS WHOLE TING IS FCUKIN PAINFUL. I NO LONGER CAN TAKE IT. CAN I JUS BREAKDOWN? HE'S PAINFUL. I'M TOO. DID I DO THE RONG TING? MY TEARS JUS CANT STOP ROLLIN!! WHY!! HEN TONG! I'M GOIN CRAZIE. UR LIFE SUCK. MINE WORSE K? EVERIONE PLS LURVE ME. I NOE SLASHIN MYSELF WUN HELP. I'M JUS A PATHETIC BITCH SEEKIN FOR ATTENTION. TIS MENTAL TORTURE IS DRIVIN ME CRAZIE.

upside down

omgoshx.
my life is now almos upside down ler >.<

type till so xinku

all gone

fcuk lahx. hais.

everitin wanna go against me right now

sundae broke off

4plus den slp

5plus jiu wake go skul

mondae still no tired

3plus slp

6 wake up go skul

two daes slp bu dao 5 hrs

tonight wad time? zzz

kip eatin and eatin

weight goin back le lor

ytd got a cor from my course advisor

i'm debarred from exam

woohoo..great isnt it?

she said she's gonna write a recommendation letter

and i canot pon le arbo die

sian le lorr..haix..

last time got e sudden urge to walk back

but he's aslp

fated de bahx.

so jus accept it now =/

now everidae cum home late?

dun dare alone home

all i am capable of is eat slp and cry

wad esle?

sorie all

my entries were all the same

so dull and depressing

but i jus cant help it

i'm at the down curve of my life right now

duno why e physical pain cant sub the pain in my hart

fang bu kai >.<

haisx. now more pain arh!

anione cum and save me!!!

seein him sad

makes me sad too

guess i still cant 'dun be affected' by him

hais. but i tell myself

pain is for sure

i will definitely recover

its jus a matter of time

now is confirm over le lor

i mus be strong

i made him go into a relationship

and now i gave him a bad ending

i've neber feel 'scared' abt r/s before

even though i noe it will hurt

but tis time it reali cuz a phobia in me le

not a veri strong one

but i still hope my hapiness will cum to me

but till now

i still cant let go

its impossible le

why dun i get it?

i kept pinnin hopes

do miracles happen?

hais. dark clouds will go awae

sun will shine one dae

huiping mus be brave.

wait till i feel better

my blog wil slowli be filled wif colours

=/

roars

sniff
ke bu ke yi bu yong gan?
its tearin me apart
the pain is unbearable
he said he's rong abt me?
perhaps he reali is bah
i'm not gud enuf for him
not prettie enuf
not bein able to tolerate him
i shi bai bah


sorrie to waste his time; effort; money on me
i appreciate all
i duno how long i need to recover
i dun wanna rely on anione
but i jus feel so alone
and i need people arnd me
how much i wan him in ma lyfe
how hard i take him outta ma lyfe
all dese are beyond words to describe


perhaps tis is also tearin him apart
or isit not?
i jus cant let gO!!!!
ROARS!!!!
its no choice. not whether i can or i canot
accept it den.



wo ai ni

_* over -

its all over

i initiate it

i cant believe it

where do i pluck the courage from

hen bu she de >.<

i wan him in my life so much

sniff.

but i've oredi tried beri hard

i tink he oso will sad de bahx

he can save money le nor

dun need spent on an outsider ler

wun hab people make him angri

wun hab people lost his tings le

hais. how to get use to life wifout him

i dun wanna do it

but i reali cant take it le

he dun gib me the attention i need

mayb i'm askin for too much. sigh

i hope i dun regret

i hope he's hapie wifout me

i will recover; survive

will he be sad mah

wo bu zhi dao

its a fact le

cant change it

why kip broadin over it

i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u

smuarks

hahhas. luckile towards the end of my bdae still not so bad? hahaxx. i tot i meetin xinyi onli lor. den end up dey all gave me a surprise. is ah cai tink of de. so nice of all of them lor. hahahassx. the mos shockin ting is e... was present. quite gandong lahx.hahax.. dey bought cake den surprise me below my block lor. den sing hapie bdae song. wahahass. at least got kinda celebrate. tml is fourties minus nine's turn. hAhax. mus play hard!

*i miss euu

my bdae

yea. its my bdae todae. and i'm not hapi at all. i had a completely bad dae ytd and its gonna be bad for todae too. why my life is so fcuked up? its my dae? no special treatment? i dun expect alot lor. sigh. hapiness was neber meant to be mine in e first place. god was jus playin a prank on me. by lettin be hapi for a moment tinkin dat everitin is gonna be fine from den. i guess i'm bein too naive. seein people arnd me treatin me so gud. all so shock why am i unhapie on my bdae. i find myself still a lil xing fu bahx. why mus i alwaes be soft hearted? i wan and i need to protect myself lor. i did wadever i cud. i try wadever i cud. i gib wadever i cud. wad i got in return was tears; loneliness. i'm so afraid of bein sad. but i've gotten a lil numb wif tt. am i gonna continue walkin my miserable lyfe. i'm feelin so painful everiwhere. my heart injured till plaster oso canot stop the bleed le lahx! sigh. i wan more care and concern. don these tings cum out naturallie? why isit so hard for me to get it from him. not even a bdae wish. hahahaaasx. i'm so god damn pathetic. i wonder if he feels bad for ytd? even ting feels a lil bad lor. all i wan is simple lurfe. seein people arnd me and couple on streets all so xing fu. wahs. zzzz.


when i reach tis point. he came to tok to me? omg. a simple msg reali make me feel better lor. thanksx everione hu tried to cheer me up. thanksx ting for accompanyin me las nite. bdae sms champion~ 1st is jane! *clap clap* lame -.-" hahassx. shockin 2nd is kelvin!! 3rd is elson~ 4th veri xia dao! is john. me and him ji tao no contact le lor. touched sia. 5th is merry xiao jie. den is ziting. veri lame cuz she sit beside me nia. den is nelson~ den is shawn~ den is jing yong a net fren. den is marky oso a net fren. den is xinyi! surprisingly qihao. more surprisingly kah kian! no more liaox. meiqian made a cor las nite. got xim lahx! he oso din sms me. neither he wish me verbally. oso din treat me veri gud. practically its jus normal dae to him. hahahax. i lurfe shawn and merry's smses. cuz dey wish me prettier. LOL! i lame lahx. =x well. thanksx all! i hope tml is a veri fun dae~ smuarksx~ hApPie bUrFdaE tOo mIi~~

*todae is reserved for him but he make my dae blank. tts great. thanksx ting for tryin to fill up my empty holes.

suffocatin

omg! wad a suffocatin afternoon!

i cant belieb he had left me! i cant!

but tis is the fact!

hes not gonna cum back animore

pls wake up.

he hates me.

i will survive.

my old principle.

blocked him e whole afternoon

euu cant imagine how much i wanted to unblock him

to tok to him

i kept starin at his nick

its all my fault

why mus i be so affected by him

its hurtin me so much

i noe he's broke.

i hope he takes care

dun starve himself

i'm so so sorrie for makin him broke

i din mean to

its all over

i kept tellin myself

no point.

wad for.

nuthin's gonna change the fact

its like so fated?

too mani obstacles to overcome

i alwaes tot i cud

i still lost to fate in e end

hapiness is not in our hands.

tings are not leave to our hands

i am strong.

i wun be affected

he's a nobody

we arent close

no pain

no worries

in no time i'll be fine

all these i tell myself =\

HATES

I'M AT THE VERGE OF BREAKIN DOWN
I CAN NO LONGER TAKE TIS
AM I SUCH A BAICHI?!
DEFINITELY! HAVENT MET SUMONE AS STUPID AS ME
TO HAB LOST HIS 150 BUCKS
CHEERS! HE SAID HE HATES ME
HE SAID HE DUN WAN ME TO APPEAR IN HIS LIFE FOREVER
HAHAHAHAA..HE SHUD. I DESERVE IT.
I SUCK. CUD NOT FIND ANIONE AS BRAINLESS AS ME
I'M GOIN CRAZIE.
I DESTROY TIS WIF MA OWN HANDS
I CANT BELIEVE TIS IS HAPPENIN
SAME THING TTS HAPPENIN TWICE
NOW I FIND MYSELF A REAL MORON
ITS ME! YES ITS Me!
I'VE NO RIGHT TO SAE ANITIN
I FEEL TOTALLY HORRIBLE


wad shud i do. it reali hurts me.
hao tong hao tong hao tong
i'm goin crazie. reali crazie.
why mus i do such a idiotic ting
he's angri wif a veri reasonable reason
i'm bein hated for a gud reason
he hates me!!!!!!!!!!
-wo yong yuan dou bu xiang zai kan dao ni-
pierced thru ma hart.
deeply
no one ever said tt to me
its all my fault.
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahaa

blaa

haishsx..hahahahxx..

my lyfe..

simple and dull ;

yet complicated and full of ups and downs

simple coshx everidae i'm goin thru same routines

doin da same tings over and over again

nuthin special

complicated as i do hab sumone

sumone special to me but not reali spicin up ma lyfe

so ma lyfe

simple and complicating =/

i hope one dae

i can look into his eyesx

and sae

" hey, u rock ma lyfe =) "

tml after skul

goin town wif ting

she wanna buy tings

sumtin add tu tml

make ma lyfe less simple and dull

and less complicated at e same time

wad rubbish am i tokin'

haishx.

its still grey.

plesh handle me wid care hao maa?

sigh

its my fault
i lose e tickets
he yelled at me
i deserve it?
he apologised
i rake it up
he's angri
i'm sorrie
i tried hard
he's pissed
cant get to slp.

todae
strange
he lurve me?
he dun lurve me?
too sensitive?
act blur?
feel horrible
he dun
when will i ever feel hapie